This post is about turning a life transition into a truly transformational change by giving up on the idea that you are broken and need to be fixed. Instead focus on creating the life you aspire to live. But what does this have to do with money? Well, new clients often come to me when they’re going through a transition in their life, and they want to make sure they are making good financial decisions along the way. If you’re reading this, perhaps you are going through a transition too.
Sometimes the transition is by choice, for example a decision to change careers, move to another state, or retire from your current job. Sometimes the transition is imposed by events outside of your control, like the death of a family member, or an illness. Whatever the cause of the transition, the changes will likely ripple throughout all aspects of your life: your work, your home, your family, and your social life.
“You might have entered the transition by choice, like a planned career change, or not, like an illness or an inheritance. If you’re reading this, perhaps you are going through a transition too.”
Beyond just dealing with the financial side of the transition, periods of great change can be an opportunity to reassess where you are in your life and potentially embark on a transformational journey to bring you more of the life you want. If changes are going to happen anyway, why not make them take you where you want to go?
The "Fixing" Trap
Common wisdom around change is often based on the idea of “fixing” yourself, or “fixing” your life. The idea that there is an essential self that you need to find. Or a better life waiting for you somewhere. Or a “purpose” you need to “discover.” After all, don’t you just need to collect the pieces and glue them back together? Like a broken glass that knows what shape it should be? But this is a trap.
Fixing a “broken” self requires looking backwards at something that once was, or something that has been there, hidden from you, all along. But the future is in front of you. And the time you spend searching for your essential self, your purpose in life, is time you could spend creating it. You are not broken, you do not need to be fixed. You just need to start creating the truly satisfying and meaningful life you want to live.
Three Questions to Ask Yourself
Transformational change will come from deciding who you want to be and setting out to become that person. It’s challenging and scary because the answer isn’t out there waiting for you to find it. Instead you will build it, step by step, brand new. The work it will take is beyond the scope of this post, but here are some questions to get you started. Write them at the top of a blank page and then let yourself write whatever comes out in response without editing.
Question 1: Who do you want to be?
Question 2: What do you want to have?
Question 3: What do you want to accomplish?
Yes, these questions are very general, but that’s the point. Let them take you wherever there is something important in your life that wants to be heard.
When will your transformation happen?
Well, real transformation takes time and commitment. There may be twists and turns in the path, you may change your mind about the details or the big elements. But when you aspire to be someone beyond who you are today, you begin to fulfill your human potential to better yourself.
Remember, Money is Only a Tool
So why are we talking about transformational change on a blog that’s supposed to be about money? Because money itself is just a tool, and I want to help you use it in service of whatever you value in life. If you’re going through a transition, take some time to think about what your new life might look like on the other side, so you can align your financial decisions with your vision of what is really important to you.
I want to take a moment to thank the source of many of the ideas in this post: Joycelyn Campbell of Farther To Go, whose neuroscience based programs on transformational change have helped me navigate the professional and personal transitions in my life with more clarity and personal agency.
If there’s a topic you’d like to see me Ann-splain, let me know.
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